You'll Never Have Balance Without These 3 Things

I'm gonna keep this short and sweet.Listen - you CAN have balance: work that feels your soul and a life to match.  But we all know it doesn't come easy.  This week, I'm sharing the 3 things that you HAVE to do to achieve work life balance.

After you watch the video, comment below and share 1 thing you will do to create your dream life this week.

5 Things You Have to Do This Holiday Weekend

It’s here... Memorial Day: the unofficial kickoff to summer! In celebration of all things summer – HEAT, dresses, salty hair, flip flops, beaches, BBQS, camping, vacations, farmer’s markets, and fireworks (just a few of my favorite things), let’s all agree to savor every second of this 3-day weekend.  Here’s the 5 things on my must-do list this weekend – what’s on yours?

1. Sleep In

The older I get, the less sleeping in on the weekend feels like a given and the more it feels like a luxury.  I plan on spending at least one morning this weekend cuddled up with my husband and kitties, listening to the sounds of my neighborhood as it wakes up, and having a super relaxing start to the day.

2. Disconnect

Lately, I’ve been making a conscious effort to put my phone down and connect with people in real life more.  This weekend, I’m really going to challenge myself by turning my phone off for a full 24-hours.

enjoy people
enjoy people

3. Get Outside

Living in a city, it can be easy to feel trapped in the “concrete jungle”, but I’m thankful to live in a city with a robust park system (seriously, did you know Philadelphia has the largest landscaped park in the US?).    I’m not sure I’ll be able to escape to the mountains this weekend, but I’ll definitely be enjoying some of the amazing outdoor spaces Philly has to offer – whether Fairmount Park or the riverfront. 

4. Try Something New

While I consider myself pretty risk-averse, I love an adventure.  I love trying new things… in a safe space.  I’m not sure what I’ll do yet, but I plan on getting out of my comfort zone and doing something I’ve never done before.

5. Cook a Delicious Meal

I’ll be honest… these days I rarely have time to cook a fancy meal.  Dinner’s are usually grilled fish and steamed vegetables, but this week I’ll be cracking open some of my favorite cookbooks and experimenting in my kitchen and on my grill.

cook at home
cook at home

No matter what you're up to, have a great time and enjoy some well-earned time off!  xo.

4 Keys to Having It All

How often do we ask ourselves the question: can I have it all?

Our culture pushes us to work for the high-profile job, the big house, the fancy car, the happy marriage, the 2.5 kids, the golden retriever.  Those things will make us happy... won’t they?

having it all
having it all

If you cut through all the bull shit, having it all can actually be really simple... at the end of the day, it’s about a shift in PERSPECTIVE, not about what you have or don’t have.

Don’t get me wrong – shifting your perspective takes work.  It is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do, but the process is simple – there are just 4 keys to having it all.

1. Define what ‘having it all’ means to you. 

Success, in work and in life, looks different for each of us.  What does it look like to you?  Dedicate time to answering this question. 

What will having it all look like? 

What will having it all feel like? 

Where will you be when you have it all? 

Who will be with you? 

Get REALLY clear on your vision of having it all.  Write it out as if you already have it and reflect on it often.  

Lastly, ask yourself how your vision makes you feel?  If it doesn’t get you excited, you’re not being truthful with yourself.  If that’s the case, it’s time to go back to the drawing board.

2. Acknowledge that there will always be give and take. 

I’m pretty open about the fact that I think work life balance is bullshit – there is no such thing as balance.  Priorities are in a constant state of flux. 

It’s not all or nothing, but at any given moment in life, something will take priority.  Be OK with that.  Know that some days you’ll work late, some days you’ll need time off for family, some days you’ll be running to happy hour, and some days a romcom will be calling your name. 

3. Set aside time every day to do something you love. 

It is way too easy to get caught up in our to-do lists and in other people’s agendas.  Set aside time, even if just 5 minutes, to do something that makes you smile.  It could be as simple as savoring a delicious cup of tea or rocking out to your new favorite song.  Or it could be more involved – getting lost in a good book, going for a run, getting a massage.  Bottom line: treat yourself well each day.

make you happy
make you happy

4. And the absolute most important key to having it all: be grateful for what you have now.

Gratitude is a really amazing thing.  Gratitude breeds happiness.  Gratitude breeds faith – an expectation that good things fill your life and will continue to fill it each day. 

Practicing gratitude helps us to realize, every day, how much we really do have – you know, all those things we all normally take for granted.

And, if by practicing gratitude, you look frequently, closely, and carefully, you’ll learn you already do have it all.

What To Do When You Wake Up Dreading the Day

The alarm goes off and you snooze for another hour.The idea of getting out of bed and starting your day is almost too much to handle.

There is absolutely NOTHING that you’re looking forward to.  In fact, it’s fair to say you’re absolutely DREADING the day.

Here are a few simple steps to get you passed the point of crawling under a rock for all eternity:

1. Define Your Personal Mission Statement

Chances are, if you’re feeling completely drained, you’re doing work that’s not aligned with your values.  By defining a personal mission statement, you can flip your perspective and focus more attention on tasks that align with your mission.   To create your mission statement, start by answering these questions:

    • What do I want to do?
    • Who do I want to help?
    • What is the result? What value will I create?

Stay tuned next week for a complete mission statement how-to.

2. Sweat It Out

exercise sweet
exercise sweet

Unless you’ve been under that rock I mentioned above for a REALLY long time, you know that exercise helps elevate your mood.   When you absolutely do not want to workout, that’s the exact time when you SHOULD.  Get moving with something fun – you really don’t have to be chained to the treadmill for this to work.

3. Fuel Up Right

One of the reasons I love, love, LOVE talking about food (aside from it being delicious!) is that what you put in your body has a huge effect on how you feel – both physically and mentally.  To clear some of the “gunk” that’s dragging you down, start your day with warm lemon water with cayenne and a green smoothie.  Load up with a huge leafy green salad for lunch.  Go meatless for dinner (veggie burritos or one-pot quinoa, anyone?).  And of course, hydrate like a mofo.  Divide your weight by 2 to get a rough estimate of the oz. of H2O you need daily.

drink your greens
drink your greens

4. Call Me!

As a coach, I work with clients all the time who are going through EXACTLY what I described above.  Hell, I’ve been there myself!  Overwhelm, underwhelm, lack of motivation and inspiration – whatever it is that’s got you dreading the day, we can work through it.Schedule a free Breakthrough Session to get you back to feeling great.  Remember, procrastination is NOT your friend!

What one step will you take within the next 48 hours to get you jumping out of bed in the morning?

Goals with Soul: Starting 2014 Differently

Have you ever worked hard to accomplish something and then when you get it you just feel ‘blah’? So, then, you rush on to the next thing, thinking that was really what you needed all along... but, still, you feel unsatisfied, like something is missing?

“Constant racing for success creates habitual and unconscious goal-setting. We need to re-learn how to move toward our dreams — with the grace of trust, the grit of devotion, and the thrill of true presence.” -Danielle LaPorte

I often refer to myself as a classic over-achiever and that right there is me to a “T”. Once upon a time, I was pushing to prove myself in a way that caused me to completely lose track of who I was.

  • I got a Master’s degree and a professional license and then left the engineering profession 6 months later.
  • I completed a year of yoga teacher training and then decided I didn’t want to teach yoga.
  • I worked 60- 80 hours a week at a job I was miserable at because I thought I needed a flashy title to be successful.

All the while, I was miserable, disconnected, and drained – NOT how I wanted to feel.

>>> Insert Danielle LaPorte<<<

I have a major girl-crush on Danielle. Her work The Firestarter Sessions literally changed my life. It LIT ME UP, challenged my thoughts on success, and helped me zero in on the life I wanted to live.

In FSS, Danielle introduces the idea of core desired feelings – DECIDING HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL FIRST and then setting your goals around FEELING THAT WAY. FEELING GOOD. Revo-fucking-lutionary.

But it doesn’t end there. Next, Danielle created the Desire Map – a complete system to IDENTIFY and CREATE ACTION around your core desired feelings.

This January, Desire Map bookclubs will meet up all over the world to desire, dream, and create goals with soul. For those in the Philadelphia area, I invite you to join my group (limited to 12 people). For out-of-towners, you can visit this site to find a bookclub near you.

How about starting 2014 differently? "All juice. No push. Feeling good is the goal. Check." -Danielle LaPorte