I’ve spent the last few weeks talking with smart, educated, successful women about a brand-new coaching program I’m launching soon. They’ve got credentials out the wazoo. They’ve got prestigious job titles and nice, fat paychecks. And they’ve got one thing in common: they’re lacking the confidence they need to live the life they dream of.
You know how I noticed? Because, I was in their shoes not terribly long ago and from time to time, I’m still wearing them around.
And it turns out this is an epidemic among women and the basis for a book called The Confidence Code (being added to my to-read list ASAP).
I talked a few weeks ago about 6 Tips to Up Your Confidence at Work, but what I’ve really honed in on over the past few weeks is that THIS ISN’T JUST ABOUT THE OFFICE.
It bleeds into every area of our lives – from not speaking up in a meeting, to wanting to lose “the last 10 pounds” (seriously, this must be some kind of magic number, because I heard it from every single woman), to feeling guilty about taking time away from work or family to care for themselves.
Ladies, this is a real problem.
If you’re looking for ways to up your confidence every day, try one of these quick-fix recommendations (courtesy of The Confidence Cure):
1. Get in the right position
Research suggests that women won’t seek a promotion unless they feel they have close to 100 percent of the qualifications, while men will go for it if they think they have just 60 percent.
Now, there’s definitely a sweet spot here, and my hat’s off to the guys for figuring this one out. You want to find a role that you excel at (60% of the qualifications) but that also pushes you outside of your comfort zone and allows you to grow (40% learning curve).
2. Don’t ‘fake it til you make it’
This ages-old adage just needs to die. Now.
In the age of social media, there’s pressure from all sides to look and act a certain way: to have the perfect job, incredibly fun weekend adventures, exotic vacations, and be pretty and polished for a selfie at any given moment.
But, guess what? Life doesn’t work like that. And pretending it does is creating major anxiety for us.
Let go of the expectations and ease into what's real in the present moment.
3. Make friends with failure
As successful women, we’re programmed to believe that failure is bad. But failure is our best teacher and when we allow ourselves to go all in and fail fast, we learn best of all.
“Failing fast allows for constant adjustment, testing, and quick movement toward what will actually work. The beauty is that when you fail fast, or early, you have a lot less to lose. Usually you are failing small, rather than spectacularly. And you have a lot to gain from learning as you fail.” (Source: theConfidenceCode.com)
And, if you’re curious where your confidence stands relative to other women, take the free Confidence Quiz over at theConfidenceCode.com. (I scored a medium)