Clients often come to me for help with weight loss. I don't "do" weight loss. It just happens to be a benefit of the work that I do. Weight is a symptom that there is an imbalance in your life related to your "primary food" - surrounding yourself with authentic and heart-warming people, finding ways to be active, doing work you love.
"Food is more than what you find on your plate. [Primary food] can fill your soul and satisfy your hunger for life. When primary food is balanced and satiated, your life feeds you, making what you eat secondary...When we use secondary food as a way to alleviate or suppress our hunger for primary food, the body and mind suffer. Weight gain is just one of the consequences."
Let me tell you a story...not a weight loss story, a stress loss story.
When I was in the thick of a miserable existence, I was using all my energy (and most of the hours in my day) at work. The last year at that job, I literally dragged myself out of bed every day, totally spent from the day before, just to head back to the gray cubicle that I'd grown more and more resentful of. I let my 6-year relationship with the man who would eventually become my husband, THE most important relationship in my life, become secondary. I ate whatever quick meals I could grab and go with, or I didn't eat at all. When I was exhausted in the middle of the day, I headed to Starbucks to throw my hard-earned money at a triple shot (or quad if it was one of THOSE days) latte. When I got home, the first thing I did was pour a glass (or four) of wine, before logging back in to work. Eventually, I'd settle in to a restless night, just to wake up and do it all over again.
At the same time as this job was totally draining me, I was also deeply engaged in the work that I was doing, and I was f'ing good at it, too. I still don't quite understand how I could love and resent something at the same time, but that's what it was. Leaving felt like admitting defeat; staying felt worse every single day.
I was a mess. I couldn't see it, but my primary food was TOTALLY out of whack and the symptoms were all there:
-A disgruntled attitude and accompanying constant stream of expletives coming from my cube -Binge drinking several nights a week - an escape from the drudgery of my everyday life -Constantly dipping energy levels, only fixed with multiple shots of espresso -Trouble sleeping through the night and waking up feeling drained -An emotional and physical disconnect from my husband; and -A reciprocal emotional and obsessive connection with my work
It was bad... but it didn't seem to be quite bad enough for me to quit. Honestly, if I hadn't had the eye-opening experience where I realized I was totally replaceable, I might still be in that job. I'd be single, have put on 20+ pounds, and get about 5 hours of sleep a night (if I was lucky).
It was incredibly hard, but I did leave. And something amazing happened as a result: I started to take care of ME. I started running and got serious about my yoga practice; I even went so far as to go to yoga teacher training. I spent more time with my husband - quality time, not "bitch about lazy coworkers" time. I cooked more and ate lots and lots of vegetables. I went on a hunt for work I loved (and I found it!). Once I started to do the hard work of getting my primary food in order, the stress melted off of me - slowly at first, but compounding over time.
It happens like that with weight, too; when you start to do the hard work of creating a life you love, the rest starts to fall in to place.
It's not easy. It's not always fast. It's hard to walk away from things that don't serve us. It's tough to take a step back. But, it's also revolutionary, and empowering, and beautiful - and, as a personal coach, I'm here for you every step of the way.